Betrayed
by bluegoldrose
Summary: [Ended, but incomplete] Sara feels betrayed by the man she loves, now she is facing the consequences of her actions, while the story is slowly revealed. [angst mystery generes too sorta]
1. The only way to end the pain

Author's notes:

I thank my friends for giving me way too much knowlege about psycological problems.

The story is rated pg-13 due to suicide attempts.

Sara's problems are going to be revealed eventually, but not yet.

* * *

She felt betrayed. He had betrayed her; they had all betrayed her. She was tired of being betrayed, she only could think of one way to end the pain.

She was in her home; she had just gotten off of a very exhausting shift. Tears started to stream down her face, but she tried to stop them.

She went into her bedroom, the room where she had spent so much time with him. She could still imagine him there in her room. She pushed those images out of her mind though; she couldn't let anything distract her.

She was going to use a knife, she knew that the kitchen knives would be too brutal, they all had serrated edges. The decorative daggers that she had in her bedroom would be better; the edges were smooth, the cuts would be clean.

She had always had an odd fascination with knives; she chose one that she thought would work. It had a wooden handle carved with roses. She put it onto her bed.

Then she went around her house opening up her windows, allowing the warm spring air to permeate her house. She allowed the fresh air to caress her body, and gently push her hair around.

It wasn't the first time she had ever done this, but this time, she was determined to end it. She returned to her bedroom, and she picked up the dagger. She went back into her kitchen, where she got out a piece of paper and a pen. He had given her the paper; it was light pink with roses and butterflies on it. She wrote her suicide note on it with black ink.

Once she was finished, she went with her knife into her bedroom, where the clean up would be the cleanest. She sat down in her bathtub, and she unsheathed the dagger.

She held it to her wrist, where the scars from all her previous attempts were visible. She bit down on her lip hard; she couldn't loose her nerve, not now.

She cut, allowing the blood to drip onto her body. Then she did the same thing to her other wrist; the blood flowed freely from her veins. She cried. The dagger dropped down along side of her, as she lay there, allowing herself to die.

She heard the phone ring, and his voice come over the answering machine. Then she could hear knocking at her door, and his voice calling to her.

'It's too late,' she thought.

Then he was standing over her. She had lost too much blood to make any sense out of why he was there, but if she could have, she would have remembered that he had a key.

He was holding her wrists to stop the bleeding. Then he took a nearby towel and he wrapped it around them, so that he could call 911 on his phone.

"Sara," he gently whispered to her. "It'll be alright, everything will be alright."

She lost consciousness as she was being loaded into an ambulance. The last thing she remembered were the tears in his eyes.

'I hate him,' she thought.

* * *

To Be Continued... 


	2. Meeting new people

When she had awoken, she couldn't figure out where she was at first, then it all started to come back to her. She realized where she was in disgust.

'I'm in a psyche ward again,' she thought, as she gently shook her head in dismay. 'What else did I really expect though, he managed to stop me from dying. Which automatically gets you sent to the hospital. Great, this is real great. When I get out of here, I'm quitting, and moving as far away as possible.'

A nurse came in, which disrupted her train of thought. Sara wiped the forming tears out of her eyes.

"Oh good, you're awake."

"How long was I asleep?"

"A little over a day. Some people have been asking about you, but there was nothing to tell. How do you feel?"

"I'm a little weak, very hungry, and my wrists hurt." Sara stated, smiling ruefully.

"Well, you're weak from blood loss and lack of food, I'm going to get you food, and you know why your wrists hurt. Do you feel up to having lunch with the rest of the patients, or do you want to have it here in your room?"

Sara thought it over, and she decided that she didn't really want to be alone, as much as she didn't want to be with the other patients. So the nurse helped her to get up and to dress in clothes of hers that somehow had gotten to her room.

The cafeteria was filled with a variety of mental health patients, with everyone except the criminally insane. The nurse led her to a table where the patients were quieter, and more subdued. Sara took the seat that she was led to without looking up at the others.

"Thank you," she said softly to the nurse.

"It's alright. I'm going to get your food ok?"

Sara nodded. She felt humiliated. She was curious though, and she glanced up at the other women sitting at the table. They were all like her, eyes downcast at the table, some barely picking at the food on their plates. She looked around the room, and she saw that at each table of ten to twenty patients, a nurse sat.

'That explains the extra seat at this table," Sara thought.

She looked at the food on the plates of the other patients. It looked somewhat edible, but not very.

A couple minutes later, the nurse returned with two plates, one for Sara, and another for herself. Sara looked at the food disdainfully, she didn't want to eat it, but hunger won out, and she ate.

"My name is Caroline Dupree," the nurse began. "I'm the nurse in charge of all of you. I will tell you when different functions are scheduled for each of you. The fifteen of you will be involved in the same sessions together, so why don't we try to get to know one another?"

They were silent. The nurse looked at Sara pleadingly, so Sara decided to go first.

"My name is Sara Sidle. I work at the Las Vegas crime lab."

The other patients looked at her. Then the young woman on her right spoke.

"My name is Maria Clendon. I'm a student at LVU." She was young, Sara thought she couldn't be out of her early twenties. Her hair was auburn and curly; it fell to her shoulders.

Slowly, the others introduced themselves, their ages ranged from early twenties to late forties. The nurse looked very relieved that they spoke to one another.

They spoke about various topics, carefully avoiding how they got in there, which for most of them meant avoiding the topics of love, family, and work. That left them the topics of television, movies, food, weather, plants, and animals, for the most part.

Once they were finished eating, the nurse led them out into a courtyard. They walked around in separate groups; they all had to meet back up in an hour.

Sara started to walk off by herself, when Caroline spoke.

"Sara, thank you for helping me back there. I appreciate it. This is my fifth week with adults, I used to work with the adolescents, and they were more talkative."

"It was nothing," Sara replied with a slight smile.

Then Sara walked off towards a lonely corner of the courtyard.

Sara had been sitting on a bench for several minutes, when Maria came up behind her. Sara jumped slightly when she heard the young woman clear her throat.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Sara smiled up at her, "Don't worry about it. Have a seat." She gestured to the bench.

She took the seat, and then she sighed. "I was kind of lonely, and since I saw you here alone, I thought I'd join you."

"Thanks."

"Are you originally from around here? I know you said that you work here, but I was wondering."

"I'm from California, around San Francisco. I lived there most of my life, I came here about five years ago."

"I'm from Tennessee. I came out here because I thought it would be fun, and I wanted to get away from my family and everything else back there. I'm 19 and I'm going to fail this semester at LVU thanks this. What did you do to get in here? I mean, I can see your wrists and all…"

"I'm really not comfortable talking about that. Plus that's what the group sessions are for." Sara said cutting her off.

"Right, I'm sorry. I know it's none of my business. It's just…"

"Don't worry about it," Sara said kindly.

"We're roommates you know, but this is the first day you were awake."

"Oh. Well, I had a bad argument with my fiancé and my co-workers, and it all kinda fell apart, but I'm not comfortable saying anymore than that right now." Sara said kindly.

Maria smiled gratefully. "My boyfriend broke up with me, and I can't handle rejection. I tried to overdose on sleeping pills, but one of my roommates found me. I've been here for about two weeks, and they just released me from suicide watch yesterday. So now I've been put into this new group with you. I probably won't have a job when I get out either."

"I have like three months of vacation time, so that's probably what they're using for this. Not that I'm planning on working there after I get out. What are you majoring in?"

"Ironically enough, psychology," she replied, laughing.

Sara laughed too.

So they chatted for awhile longer, until they had to go to the group session. Not much was accomplished in the group session, but that was to be expected for the first day.

Sara and Maria were becoming friends, and they talked to each other about what was going on in their lives, but they still avoided the sensitive areas of their lives.

* * *

Wow, I got two reviews already, thanks guys. 

I'll get around to explaining what's up with Sara soon, but I like making readers suffer a little, sorry guys. Plus I'm not certain yet : )


	3. The begining of the story, and Warrick's...

The first night they had gone out on a date, over two years ago. He had taken her to a nice restaurant. They had eaten an expensive meal, with an amazing red wine. And they danced to the beautiful music, under the dimmed lights.

The first time they made love was amazing, they understood what the other wanted, and they allowed that rhythm to carry them.

That's what their entire relationship was, rhythm. It helped them on tough cases, and through the difficulties in their relationship.

When he proposed to her over a year earlier, it had been magical. He took her to the lake at night. They had a picnic like meal, with rose wine. Then he proposed to her under the stars.

The next day, they announced their engagement to the rest of their co-workers, and they congratulated them.

Then Timothy Cole came back into their lives, changing everything.

* * *

Maria was very kind to Sara, and Sara was kind to her. They were kindred spirits, and they could understand one another. After a week of being together, Sara and Maria told each other why they were in there, and they discussed their pasts. They also discussed their lives with the group during their group session times.

The two women were surprised to learn how similar their lives had been growing up. Both had been abused as children. They both came from foster homes due to the murder of one parent by the other. Although in Maria's case, it had been her father who killed her mother. Maria, like Sara, had a string of failed romances, and neither could handle rejection well. They also both used their blossoming careers as an escape from their problems. They had both been in psychiatric hospitals before, when they were teens due to depression, cutting, and suicide attempts.

After a month in the ward, Sara's co-workers were allowed to visit her. And they did, not all at once, but all on the same day.

Caroline would tell her which ones were there, and she would decide weather to see them or not. Warrick was the first one to come to visit her. They were in a lobby. And he gave her a tulip plant.

She looked at them with wide eyes. "How did you get this in Vegas?"

"I special ordered it, because I knew that you love purple tulips. How have you been doing?"

"I've been better, but I've also been worse. You?"

"I've missed you like crazy girl. We all have. We were really worried about you for awhile."

"I know. I'm getting better though."

"How long before you're free?"

"About another month. I'm glad I had so many vacation days."

Warrick nodded. "I'm not going to talk about any uncomfortable subjects ok, but why don't I tell you how everything's been."

"I'd like that," Sara replied with a smile.

Once she was caught up to speed with current events, he asked, "What happened that day?"

"I thought you weren't going to go there?"

"I wasn't, but it's been bothering me."

"I want to talk to him about it first ok?"

"Alright, well, I'd love to stay longer, but I have to go. I'll see you soon ok?"

"Yeah."

So he left, and she returned to her room with her plant.

Later in the day, the next of her co-workers came.

* * *

To be continued...

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, you keep me going.

Very Big Thanks to CatStokes, because you helped the story find it's focus, and you decided who the man in Sara's life is.

(to the comment that it's like Girl Interrupted, I've never seen the movie, but I want to so I'll take it as a compliment)


	4. Catherine, Sophia, and Group therapy

Catherine came into the same lobby where Warrick had been to meet Sara. She smiled when she saw her friend. Then the two women hugged. Catherine gave her a small stuffed teddy bear.

"Hey, I've missed you. How's the food?" Catherine asked.

Sara laughed, "It's bad, what's with you guys. I'm locked in here, and you don't even ask about what happened first."

"We don't want to ask you something you don't want to tell us. Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"Not really, I need to talk to him about it first. Not that I don't think you guys deserve to hear it all, but…"

"You need to talk it over with him first," Catherine finished. "Trust me, I understand. If it wasn't for Lindsey I would have been in here several times when I was married to Eddie."

"I feel so stupid though. I was so upset that day, and so much happened all at once. I can't believe how selfish I was being. Being here has taught me that. I've made friends with a girl here named Maria; she feels the same way I do. If we would have just been more rational, we wouldn't have done it. Now, I'm stuck in here. I'm doing better though."

"That's good. I'm sorry about the fight we had that day, I know that it couldn't have helped you any."

"It's ok, I really overreacted to everything. That's the annoying thing about depression, it just accumulates until you think suicide is the only answer. I thought that everyone had abandoned and betrayed me, which I now realize isn't true, but I thought it was at the time."

"It's ok Sara. Trust me, I've been there too. It's human. Do you forgive him?"

"No, not really."

"I understand. I think he's planning on coming later, maybe he'll explain things to you then."

"Maybe."

They chatted for awhile, and then Catherine left. Within an hour of Catherine leaving, Sophia came. Sara decided to see her out of curiosity.

'Why is she visiting, I barely know her,' Sara thought.

When she got into the lobby, Sophia was there, looking rather uncomfortable, with another teddy bear.

"You know, if all of you guys keep bringing me things, I'll get them put into a storage place away from me?" Sara said without preamble.

"I'm sorry, it just seemed appropriate." Sophia responded apologetically.

"It's alright," Sara replied, as she accepted the gift. "Why did you come? We don't really know each other."

"You're a co-worker, and you are in a hospital. I did it to be courteous. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"It's fine, I just wasn't expecting it."

"Do you want to hear about the cases that have happened?"

"Sure," Sara answered as they took seats.

"About two weeks ago, we found a db in a hotel room, nothing new, well the vic was shot execution style. Which is uncommon."

"Interesting."

"Well, we matched the bullet to a gun, and we found the gun's owner. There was a problem though."

"What?'

"The suspect was a CIA agent. She had executed the man. She got off. But it was a very interesting case. I just hate dealing with all the interagency affairs."

"I wish I would have been there. Now I'm jealous. But since she got off, I probably wouldn't have liked it."

"No, not really, it's not true justice if someone walks. But she's CIA, so it's not like the vic was an innocent either. Apparently he was a big drug runner for a cartel in Colombia."

"Wow, that's very interesting, who worked with you on it?"

"Greg."

"He's getting a lot of experience, that's good."

So they talked about work for a couple more minutes, and then Sophia left.

* * *

The morning visiting hours ended at 11, and then the patients all ate lunch. Afterwards, they went into their group therapy sessions.

"Sara," Caroline said. "Why don't you start off today. You haven't told us much about what led you to your suicide attempt. One of the steps to recovery is sharing, and although you have improved very quickly, you still remain very secretive."

Sara didn't know what to say, she hated sharing her feelings, and she had always hated group therapy. She was amazed though, at the fact that she had already been there a month, and she had gotten away with it. She knew that she was fine now, she had worked with her psychologist in her individual sessions, and she had worked thorough everything. Now though, she had to deal with the group part, or she would never leave.

She took a deep breath, and she began. "I first met my fiancé on my twenty-fifth birthday. It was also one of my co-workers birthdays, and he invited a bunch of people over to his house to celebrate our birthdays. One of them was the man who I came to love…."

* * *

To Be Continued

Sorry, I know it's evil.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I love you guys so much your comments have been so kind thank you.

**Note**: Sara has already been in the psych ward about a month, and I gave the estimate of another month based on the lengths friends of mine have been in mental hospitals, the stay is about 2mos. And Sara is progressing well, but you still don't know what set her off yet...I think that's all, bye.


	5. The day they met

Sara was speaking, "He came to the party dressed in a simple outfit; jeans and a T-shirt I think. Gil Grissom was a friend of Timothy Cole's, a co-worker of mine, that's why he was a mine and Tim's birthday party…"

He came to the door of Tim's house, he didn't like these get togethers, but Tim had been his friend for awhile, and it was his birthday.

Tim welcomed him warmly as he entered. Then he led him through the halls to a balcony. A young woman was standing out there smoking a cigarette.

"Hey Sara," Timothy said. "You shouldn't be out here all alone, it's your birthday too."

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't want to smoke inside."

He smiled. "It's ok. I'd like to introduce someone to you. Sara Sidle, this is Gil Grissom from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He's an entomologist. Sara works with me in the Crime Lab here in San Francisco."

They shook hands.

Grissom smiled at the beautiful young woman, he found her captivating. Her eyes were the first thing he noticed about her, they were beautiful, bright, shining, mysterious, and he couldn't tell what else.

He thought that she looked confident, that she knew herself.

"Well happy birthday to you too Sara," he said.

"Thank you. How long have you been a criminalist?"

"I became a coroner at 21, I switched to forensics when I was about 28, so 12 years."

_'That's when I was 13, when my mother killed my father,'_ Sara thought.

He noticed that she was thinking that her expression darkened. It changed back quickly, that's when he realized another characteristic of her, haunted.

"Smoking is bad for you," Gil said in order to attempt a conversation.

"I know, but it's a hard habit to break," she replied, as she blew out some smoke.

He smirked. Then they realized that Tim had left them.

"He left us," Gil mused. "I'll have to talk to him about that later. Do you want to join the party?"

"Not really, I'm not one to socialize that much. I had to be forced to come."

"Neither am I."

They both smiled at their similarities. Then they sat down on a nearby swing, and they talked about their jobs.

They admired each other's intellect. They also were physically attracted to one another. He loved her golden tan, and the way her golden brown hair hung in curls around her face. He loved her dark brown eyes, her sparkling white smile, her voice, and just how beautiful she was. She loved his mysterious blue eyes, his light brown hair, and the sound of his voice.

"…That's how we met. It was almost magical. I know that I haven't yet explained much, but I just realized that this session is almost over. I can continue tomorrow if you want."

"That would be good," Caroline responded. "You are all dismissed."

So the patients left the room and went off in different directions. Sara and Maria went back into their room.

Sara stood looking through the bars of her window. She could see the larger casinos of Vegas from there.

"You want to be out there again don't you?" Maria asked, breaking Sara's reverie.

"Yeah."

"Some of your friends came to visit today though."

"Yeah, I didn't realize how much I've missed them. Gil hasn't come though."

"I'm certain he will. When you told me how you met him, it wasn't nearly as eloquent as the way you said it today."

"I know, but I wanted to tell you. I don't want to tell them, that's why I was taking so long."

"I know. What he did wasn't really betrayal."

"I know, but I didn't like it. I would have been fine on the case; he didn't give me the chance. Plus I had arguments with three other co-workers that day…"

"Look, I get it. Just look at where we are, everyone here understands suicide."

Sara nodded. After talking for awhile, two more of Sara's co-workers arrived. So she went down to the lobby to see Nick and Greg.

* * *

To Be continued...

Do you like it? (Please review, I love to hear what you think)

I'm sorry it took so long to update, I have a lot of homework to do, and today was the only day I had time to post. Plus the chapters aren't coming to me as quickly as I would like.


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